Romanticizing the Dog

Anyone who lives in New England knows that this year we had a particularly snowy winter.

Winter 2026

Making sure the dogs, specifically Tally, got enough exercise was a challenge. Ray, my husband, took his snow blower and made several paths in our fenced in yard and both dogs seemed to love running on these paths. As the snow began to pile up these paths almost became tunnels. Thanks to the snowmobilers their tracks made it easier to walk Tally through the trails in the woods. Well, with the help of ice cleats!

This winter provided me with another challenge. Sometimes when I was out walking Tally on a winter afternoon, I would see in the distance a cross-country skier gliding along with their dog off leash. Since we are still working on Tally’s reactivity this proved to be a challenge. I had to be quick with my treats and careful not to slip on the ice while trying to keep her focus on me.

However, it also provoked feelings of envy and jealousy. I love to cross-country ski. In previous winters I have gone out as much I could. And I have secretly dreamed of skiing with my dog running by my side. There were always reasons why this has never happened with my previous dogs. I never took them off leash in the woods because I didn’t feel I had sufficiently trained them to be off leash. Since I got Tally as a puppy and had the time to put the training into her, I secretly harbored the hope of me skiing through the woods with her running by my side. And wouldn’t an Aussie be the perfect skiing companion?

As my readers know, I have been putting a lot of time and training into Tally. I practice heeling and recall with her off leash in our fenced in yard. When we walk in the woods, I have her on a long leash, and she will come when called. But I still don’t trust her. I keep working with her, but I’m not 100% sure she will come 100% of the time. I’m afraid if she gets distracted, (and she still gets easily distracted) she may forget she is supposed to stay near me and bolt. I’m afraid if she sees another dog she may run up to them and if I’m on skis I won’t be able to get her back.

There are other times when I have these twinges of envy. Sometimes when I see people out and about with their dogs, I think how nice it would be to do that with Tally. If she was better behaved, I could take her everywhere with me—running errands, sitting with me on the sidelines at my grandchildren’s sporting events, lying quietly at my feet at an outside café while I sip coffee.

The other day Ray and I were talking about going to the beach for a couple of days. “Let’s take the dogs,” Ray said.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I said.

“Come on,” Ray said. “They would love to run on the beach.”

Immediately I could see both Tally and Toby running ahead of us as we walk along the shoreline, both dogs jumping in and out of the waves and chasing sea gulls. There would be a slight breeze off the ocean and the sun would be setting.

They would have fun, I thought to myself. It would be fun to take them. “But, dogs aren’t allowed on the beach until after 5:00pm,” I reminded Ray. “What would we do with them before then?”

“They could stay in the car,” he said. “Or in the motel room.”

“If it is too hot, they can’t stay in the car,” I said. “And a lot of motel rooms don’t allow dogs to be left alone in the rooms.”

“We’ll get a motel that allows you to do that,” Ray said.

“What if the maid comes in and they run out?” I ask. “What if they bark when we aren’t there?”

“Maybe this won’t work,” Ray said.

It seems I need to accept I am not a good enough trainer to have Tally (or Toby) do any of these things. And maybe I need to accept that Tally is never going to be that kind of dog who will run happily beside me as I glide through the woods, sit quietly at an outdoor café, or go on vacation with us.

But maybe this has nothing to do with my inability to train Tally to be this kind of dog. Maybe this has nothing to do with Tally at all.

I am beginning to realize that these “dreams” of cross-country skiing with Tally, or taking her out and about town, or to the beach is not about Tally’s “failure” to be kind of dog I want her to be. It has to do with me and this romantic idea I have about having a dog.

In my dream of skiing through the woods with Tally running by my side it is always perfect conditions. The snow is just deep enough for Tally to effortlessly run, the sun is out, the sky is blue, and there is no one else out in the woods. In reality, this is not what it’s like out there on the trails. The snow can be deep or icy making it difficult to ski and for a dog to run. And the woods is full of distractions—other skiers, other dogs, snowmobilers, deer, squirrels, foxes, etc.

Like much of life, reality can get in the way of our dreams.

I have come to realize the reason I don’t let Tally off leash isn’t about how well she is trained or about what kind of dog she is. It is about the reality that the trails in the woods are far from ideal and perfect conditions. A snowmobiler could come barreling around a trail at any moment. Another dog could also be running loose through the woods. People skiing, snowshoeing, and even mountain biking seem to suddenly appear on the trails. A deer could run by. A porcupine could be making his slow and steady way up a tree.

And the reality is, Tally is a dog. And because she is a dog and a herder who watches everything, she is going to react to the environment she is in. Any of these distractions could cause Tally to quickly forget all our training and leave my side. And since I’m on skis, holding ski poles it would be impossible for me to get my treats out of my pocket in order to get her focus back on me.

I don’t want to take the chance of Tally getting hurt by that snowmobiler who doesn’t see her on the trail, or tangled up with that porcupine, or bolting after that deer. I also don’t want to put her in situations that will be stressful for her and thereby cause her to “fail.” Although it would be nice to sit at a café and drink coffee on a nice summer afternoon, why put Tally in a situation where she may bark at someone who walks by? Why leave her alone in a strange motel room? Why take her somewhere when it might be too hot or too cold to leave her alone in the car?

I know some people do these things with their dogs and that’s great. But I also know Tally is the dog I signed up for. She is full of energy, smart, aware of her environment, and keeps me on my toes. She wakes me every morning with kisses and cuddles. She loves our walks (on leash) in the woods. It’s such a joy to work with her and watch her figure out what I’m teaching her. She loves running in our yard chasing after Toby. Late afternoons when I’m reading, she lies by my feet. Sometimes she tries to be a lap dog and climbs into my lap. She is a sweet and loving dog.

Tally is exactly the right dog for me.